


3AM Shadow.

by fluffyloser



Series: Blue Neighborhood Trilogy. [3]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Self-Discovery, Self-Hatred, Songfic, alcoholic original character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-21
Updated: 2015-10-21
Packaged: 2018-04-27 09:59:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5043958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fluffyloser/pseuds/fluffyloser
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>based off of troye sivan's song "TALK ME DOWN."<br/>Dan ended his suffering by becoming one with the sea and Phil could never blame him for it.<br/>part three in my version of troye sivan's "Blue Neighborhood Trilogy".</p>
            </blockquote>





	3AM Shadow.

**Author's Note:**

> this is based off of troye sivan's new song "TALK ME DOWN" so go buy it!!!  
> (p.s. pre-order his whole album if you haven't already).
> 
> not implying dan and phil are in a relationship, this is just for fun. I don't own dan, phil, or troye sivan's song (copyright).  
> tw. suicide of a major character and mentions of past alcohol abuse and physical abuse. 
> 
> just as troye tweeted, please please please get help if you need it. you are worth it, i promise.

‘Cause you know that I can't trust myself with my 3AM shadow.’  
‘I'd rather fuel a fantasy than deal with this alone.’ – talk me down, troye sivan.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The breeze was tight on his dress shirt. The white silk fabric twisted itself around his fragile pale body as if it wanted to strangle him blue and black. He stood with his head up high, looking out into the ocean. The beautiful blue waves reminded him of what he lost, those clear blue eyes that used to hold him. They held him as tight as this shirt and tie around his neck, choking him. 

The white caps crashed against the slippery black rocks around him, the sound was welcoming, calling him back home. His eyes, now a fogged over with a never ending tiredness and sorrow, stared out straight. His breath was thin and clear, but the crawling of his skin was starting to remind him of what he was there for. He took in a deep breath of the salt drifting off of the sea. 

That’s when Dan finally became one with the breeze and fell. 

The last time Phil saw Dan was at Dan’s father’s funeral. That bastard finally drank his way to his death bed, a nice cold place six feet underground. Phil couldn’t help, but have mixed emotions about the death of the man. He grew up around the alcoholic, making him almost like a father to him. However, Phil would always hold a bitterness towards him and say that he deserved that death, that he deserved to rot in the deepest parts of hell. He was abusive towards his only son, a cold-hearted closed off asshole, but when Phil saw Dan, it didn’t matter anymore.

Dan was wrapped around his new lover. Her hands all around his thinned out shoulders, where Phil used to leave bite marks. Her head next to Dan’s cheek, where Phil used to leave the sweetest of kisses to warm up his soft skin. Phil didn’t want to get too close, but his feet carried him to right where the old bastard lied dead. Dan didn’t notice, his eyes were screwed shut with tears falling down quietly as he held back his sobs. 

Phil couldn’t understand how Dan could love someone so deadly. Someone who tore him apart then built him right back up to do it again. Yet again, here was Phil, staring at him when Dan told him to leave. Dan built Phil up to just be broken right back down and it was deadly. No, Dan was not his father, but everything is connected in a way. Everyone’s messes don’t affect just themselves, they affect everyone who cares about them.

He walked away after that. Phil couldn’t do it to himself, running back to the person he loved since he was young. The one who held him when he broke his wrist, the one who kissed his eye lids when he was sleepy, the only who moaned his name when he scratched his nails down Phil’s back, the only one who Phil could completely love. Dan was his brother, the one he would always protect no matter what. His friend, the one he could go to for anything and everything. Dan would always be his lover, the one who Phil could always remember holding. 

Phil sat down on the stair steps before the opening of the graveyard. He put his head in his hands and rubbed the tears away from his eyes. He had to move on, he would go crazy if he didn’t. His memories would soon become the best of him and he couldn’t afford that. What brought him out of this thoughts was a soft touch on his shoulder. 

“I want to sleep next to you and I want to come home to you.” Dan whispered as Phil got up, he smiled lightly through his tears.

“Come over now then, I’ll talk you down.” 

Phil grabbed Dan and pulled him into his arms, holding him so tight all of Dan’s broken pieces were brought back together. Dan now sobbed aloud, clawing at Phil’s shoulders. Phil could hear the pain that Dan was going through. He finally realized why he hurt so much, this was his father. Dan’s mother left when he was young and this was the only person he could call family. Phil had family, too much family. Now Dan had no one, that made a shiver go down Phil’s spine. 

Phil cooed in his ear, trying to calm down the man he would go back for no matter what. Dan could make Phil go through hell to get his father back and Phil would do it with a blink of an eye. It was because he loved him. People do crazy things for love without think about the problems that were soon to follow. It didn’t matter now and wouldn’t matter in the future, he wasn’t going to leave again.

“Don’t walk the line, I got you. I got y-“

Suddenly he pulled away, Phil felt Dan’s body freeze and pull away in the worse fashion. Phil felt that same feeling over take him when Dan first pushed him away. He turned his head to follow Dan’s clouded eyes to meet the girl. That girl, who stood in shock with her arms crossed. Her mouth was open wide enough to show shock. Phil looked back to Dan, his eyes couldn’t hide the worry he felt. Dan turned back and smiled quickly, it made Phil want to throw up. Dan slapped Phil’s side and run off towards the girl while putting an arm around her. 

Phil started to follow when Dan looked back, trying to twist his way out of that girl’s grasp. Phil could see now that the girl was pulling Dan away, forcing the only person that m=actually meant something to him. Then Phil felt like he was falling. Phil remembered the beach and the sand between their toes. How Dan’s lips felt so soft against his and how these tears wouldn’t go the fuck away. 

Then Phil was on his knees, nothing would be good enough for them. They would never be able to make it with the world against them. It seemed as if the world was falling on top of him already. Phil pulled himself into a ball on the cold ground of the graveyard, never wanting to move again and honestly, he never did.

“I want to come home to you.” Dan spoke quietly before he hit the sea, going back where he belonged. 

Dan’s home would now be with the sea and Phil’s home would now be his room because his room held his safest sounds. The graveyard would hold Dan’s last words that Phil still had echoing in his ears. The tree they climbed would keep the scratches that Phil’s shoe made. The beach would remember their footsteps as one. Dan’s bedroom would remember their sweet noises of pleasure and only time of happiness. 

These are only two people’s stories of living in a blue neighborhood that all of us live in. What’s your story?


End file.
